


Dwelling on Dreams

by MattD12027



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Satire, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:56:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27494596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MattD12027/pseuds/MattD12027
Summary: Harry finds it hard to follow Dumbledore's advice after he has a dream - a particularly vivid dream. And it changes everything.Smutty crackfic satire that takes itself seriously - you've been warned!
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	Dwelling on Dreams

Harry and Hermione had just arrived to the Room of Requirement with the Golden Egg on the advice of Dobby. The excitable little House Elf had informed them of the “Come and Go Room,” otherwise known as the Room Requirement, and indicated it could take the form of nearly anything. Harry and Hermione were going to use the Prefects’ Bath, but that was a risky choice since they could easily be caught.

Harry paced back and forth in front of the blank wall across from the Barnabas the Barmy tapestry until a door appeared. With a glance at Hermione, he pulled it open and walked inside. He stopped so suddenly that Hermione almost walked right into his back.

“Harry?”

“Look at this place!” Harry said, moving forward and to the side so Hermione could enter and see too. When she did, she gasped.

“What did you ask for?”

“A bath to figure out the Golden Egg in,” he replied. The Room had apparently interpreted ‘bath’ in the Roman sense, for they were now looking at an ornate and large series of baths and pools in what was a good facsimile of an underground Roman bathhouse. The air was humid and filled with the scents of bath salts.

“Well, this is something,” Hermione said, and then giggled. Harry turned toward her and couldn’t prevent the smile from spreading across his face. The past few months had been so stressful that simply smiling with Hermione felt really nice.

“Ok, here goes,” Harry said, kneeling at the edge of one of the pools and dipping the egg into it. As he was leaning over to dunk his head, Hermione stopped him.

“Harry, what are you doing?”

He straightened up, resting on his calves, and looked back at her. “Listening to the egg underwater. Isn’t that what Cedric meant?”

“Well, yes,” she said. There was twinkle of mischief in her eyes. “But this is too good to pass up. We can’t just dunk our heads in these lovely pools and call it a day.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s get in!” she said. “Relax and swim a bit. We’ve been working ourselves to the bone since your name came out of the Goblet.”

“Um, ok. I don’t have swim trunks, though.”

“Neither do I,” she said. It never occurred to her that the Room might be able to provide. “But I suppose a bikini is the same thing as bra and knickers, right?”

Harry jolted and dropped the egg fully into the pool. He watched it sink for a moment. “I mean… what?”

“Oh, honestly, Harry,” Hermione said, moving over to him and kneeling next to him. “You’re wearing underwear, right?” He nodded. There was a flush high on his cheeks. “How is that any different than swim trunks?”

Swim trunks had lining and they also didn’t usually have openings in the front where he was liable to fall out at any time, especially in the water. But he didn’t say those thoughts out loud. Instead, he said, “I guess it’s not.” He couldn’t believe where this was going.

“Great,” she said. She stood and then, before Harry’s disbelieving eyes, began to disrobe. First, she took off her actual robes and set them to the side. It left her in her standard Hogwarts uniform, consisting of a short sleeve white button-down blouse with a red tie, a black skirt that ended just above her knees, knee-high socks, and black shoes.

Then, she kicked off her shoes and bent at the waist to roll down her socks and pull them off her feet. She had her toenails painted pink and her calves looked nice and trim. She straightened up and undid her tie, adding it to the pile. She started to unbutton her blouse and seemed to finally notice Harry staring at her. She got a bit self-conscious.

“What?” she asked.

Harry shook himself. “You’re incredible Hermione.”

She gave him a questioning smile. “Thanks?” She continued to unbutton her blouse—two buttons, revealing to the top of the curves of her breasts; three buttons, revealing most of a peach colored bra that covered that rest of her breasts; four buttons, revealing a smooth upper abdomen and the top of her navel; and finally the fifth and last button, revealing the rest of her navel, more smooth abdomen, and the line of her skirt. She pulled the shirt up out of her skirt’s waistband and then off her arms. It joined the pile of clothes on the ground.

“Are you going to join me” she asked.

“Yes!” Harry said, perhaps a little too quickly. Her eyebrows raised up but she didn’t comment. As Harry stood and pulled off his robe, Hermione unzipped the side of her skirt, showing the side of her knickers and her upper leg, and then shimmied it down her legs. Harry was so distracted with her revealing all of her legs that he fumbled with his tie for a moment before practically ripping it off. By the time she kicked her skirt away and stood up, he had his shirt half unbuttoned and just pulled it over his head. He was gob smacked when he looked back at Hermione.

She was facing him in nothing but her peach bra and matching knickers. Both were not incredibly sexy or revealing, but they certainly allowed Harry to see more of Hermione than he ever had before, or ever considered. Her breasts were a good size and her nipples were pushing against the fabric. She was trim and fit—probably from climbing all the stairs with a heavy bookbag—and she had a narrow waist and slightly curvy hips. Her knickers were high cut and tight and revealed the outline of her pussy.

“Wow,” Harry said. “You’re so fit, Hermione!” he told her. She blushed.

“Thanks, Harry. You’re not so bad yourself!” she told him, staring at his upper body. He was lean and looked strong with somewhat defined pectorals and nice-looking abs. His arms were toned and he was just starting to get some chest hair. The V of his lower abdomen disappeared enticingly into his trousers… trousers he was now taking off after having gotten rid of his shoes and socks. He then stood there in nothing but his boxers. There was a slight bulge from his cock, mainly due to Hermione’s sudden near-nakedness.

They ogled each other a moment longer before both turning and jumping into the pool with the egg. In hindsight, they perhaps should have tested the temperature first. They both surfaced and looked at each other before cracking up.

“That’s a bit colder than I thought it would be!” Hermione exclaimed.

“Right?! Perhaps one of the other pools is warmer.”

“We can check them out in a bit. Let’s get the egg over with,” she said. She dove under water, giving Harry a brief glimpse of her arse as she upended to sink to the bottom of the pool. It was firm and toned, and with her wet knickers plastered to her skin, left nothing to the imagination. Harry dove as well as joined her at the bottom of the pool where the egg was resting. He grabbed it an opened it, and they were surrounded by an ethereal feminine voice. The short verse was quickly over and they both surfaced. They had troubled looks in their eyes.

“That doesn’t sound great,” Harry said.

“No, it doesn’t,” Hermione agreed.

“So I’ll have an hour to get something back. Presumably from the Black Lake?”

Hermione nodded. “Agreed.”

“I’ll need to figure out how to be underwater for a long time,” he said.

“We can start on that tomorrow,” Hermione told him, reaching out and closing the still-open egg under the water line in his hands. She had moved closer to do it, and suddenly they were both very aware of their wet, mostly naked bodies. “But for now let’s find a warmer pool!”

They glided over to the exit stairs and Harry followed Hermione up and out of the pool, unable to take his eyes of her fine ass as she ascended in front of him. She looked back over her shoulder and caught him, causing him to blush again, but she just smirked and broke into a jog toward the pool with steam rising from it. He chuckled and followed her, leaving the egg forgotten on the pool deck. She had stopped on the second step of the pool, looking back at him again.

“This one is hot!” she said. He joined her on the second step and noted that the water was indeed quite warm. Much better than the cool pool they were just in.

He descended the stairs and submerged himself into the hot water up his neck. He turned and saw Hermione coming down the stairs from the front, in a reversal of what he’d just seen exiting the other pool. Her breasts jiggled a bit in her bra she found he each new step. She stilled near him, also up to her neck in the water.

“This is nice,” she said. Their faces and their bodies were close.

“Yes,” Harry breathed. They were making steady eye contact.

Hermione had stood by his side when almost the whole school had turned against him, and she had helped him survive the First Task. She was an amazing person and his best friend. She was incredibly intelligent and had a huge heart. She was also really bloody hot! He wasn’t sure how he’d missed that before.

Harry had gone through so much in his short life and yet had the courage and gumption to continue fighting every day. He had really turned around his studies and his magical ability in the last few months, and Hermione had loved to see him start to shine. He was her best friend and they’d grown so much closer since Halloween. He was also super bloody fit! She wasn’t sure how she’d missed that before.

They moved in at the same time, seemingly surprising each other since their eyes flicked to the other briefly before returning to their lips. Their first kiss was soft, slow, and warm; and it was perfect. It lasted about ten seconds. They parted and opened their eyes. Hermione smiled at Harry in a way that took his breath away. It was so full of joy and love and faith.

“Will you be my girlfriend, Hermione?” Harry asked, not wanting to let this slip away.

“Yes! Harry, oh yes!” she said, coming forward in the water and suddenly embracing him. He now had his arms full of a slippery and mostly naked witch. He wasn’t sure where to put his hands and settled for her lower back.

Hermione buried her head in his neck, wrapping her arms around his back and her legs around his waist in a grapple-hug. She felt him put his hands on her back and hug her too. She raised her head and they were kissing again. This kiss quickly deepened as they both parted their lips and tasted each other. Harry’s hands slowly slid down Hermione’s back to rest on the top curve of her ass, and Hermione clenched her legs more tightly around Harry’s waist. Kissing his mostly naked beautiful best friend—and now girlfriend—had made his body react accordingly and his hard cock was pressing firmly into Hermione’s knickers.

She backed out the kiss and looked him in the eye. With a twinkle shining there, she took one hand from his shoulder and dropped it into the water. Before he could say anything, she’d palmed his cock through his boxers, rubbing it gently.

“Hermione,” he gasped, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against hers. Her hand felt wonderful. “Should we stop before we go too far?”

“Do you want to stop?” she asked, her hand stilling for a moment. He opened his eyes and they stared at each other for a moment.

“No,” he shook his head. “I don’t.”

“Neither do I,” she said, resuming her slow ministrations through his boxers.

Harry slid his fingers under the waistband of her knickers and began to knead her ass checks. They were firm and round and lovely and he couldn’t get enough of them. Hermione countered that by slipping her hand through his open fly and wrapping her fingers directly around his cock. He groaned at the delicious contact as she started to slide her hand up and down.

“Let’s move to one of the day beds,” she said, unwrapping her legs and letting him go. The Roman-esque bathhouse they were in did have some daybeds scattered around the pools. She moved to the edge of the pool and got out; Harry quickly followed. As they approached the nearest daybed, Hermione reached behind her and unclasped her bra, which Harry saw drop to the floor. She turned then, showing him for the first time an unencumbered view of her breasts.

“You’re gorgeous,” Harry said, coming up to her and kissing her again. His hands went to her modestly sized breasts and began to touch them gently; he circled his fingers around her pink nipples and then briefly tested the weight of them. As the kiss ended, he looked down at them and then back into her eyes. Then he dipped his head and wrapped his lips around a nipple. Hermione shuddered and made a cooing noise.

“Yes, Harry, that feels great,” she breathed. After a moment where he lavished attention to the other breast too, they were kissing again and sitting on the edge of the daybed. Hermione reached down and pulled off her knickers, exposing her shaved pussy in all its glory to Harry’s hungry eyes.

“Merlin, you’re delectable,” he said, kissing down her stomach and pushing her back on the daybed as he did so. He could smell her arousal as he got closer to visibly moist lips, and there was a little nubbin he knew to be her clitoris poking out as she leaned back and spread her legs for him.

When he gently kissed the middle of her pussy for the first time, she made the cooing noise again and thread one of her hands through his messy hair. Those fingers tightened when he kissed her clit and then sucked on it gently.

“Oh, yes,” she said; his eyes flicked upward and he saw her head thrown back, her eyes closed, and her other hand playing with one of her breasts. Reposed like that, with her tangy yet wonderful taste on his lips, she might as well have been a goddess.

Harry continued kissing, licking, and sucking her pussy, from the bottom where her inner labia met to the top where her little clit continued to stand tall and proud. Hermione seemed to especially like it when he licked from the bottom to the top, getting his tongue just a little bit inside her lips.

Eventually, he brought his hand up and began rubbing at her entrance with the tip of his finger. Ever so slowly as he continued to use his mouth, he inserted the finger, carefully and just an inch. Hermione tensed briefly and then those wonderful noises continued. Her breathing was getting progressively heavier and she was clearly enjoying herself.

“Do you want me to keep going with my finger?” he asked.

“Please,” she said. “Use two.” She was now pulling on both of her nipples with her hands.

So he did as requested, briefly moistening two fingers of one hand in his mouth and then bringing them to her pussy as he went back to kissing and licking. He inserted both fingers to the first knuckle, paused to let her adjust, and then penetrated her another inch. The inside of her pussy was extremely tight, hot, and wet; it felt amazing and he could only imagine what it would feel like when his cock was inside.

“Just like that,” Hermione said. “Move them a bit,” she added, starting to roll her hips as she really got into it. They developed a rhythm like that, and Hermione was quickly peaking with the added stimulation of his two fingers. He kept going deeper and deeper and when they were at the hilt, he sucked hard on her clit, using his tongue to rapidly stimulate it at the same time; she suddenly froze with a high keening sound, and then her pussy was clenching and unclenching around his fingers and she was gasping and crying out his name.

He leaned back and looked up at her, with her rosy cheeks and heaving chest. She had thrown an arm across her forehead, reveling in the moment. When she finally opened her eyes and looked at him, she was beaming with an extremely pleased and loving smile.

“That was amazing,” she said.

“I agree,” Harry responded.

She took another deep breath and then slowly sat up, pulling Harry onto the daybed with her. She stared into his eyes. There might have been just a trace of disappointment or regret in them now.

“I really want to fuck you,” she said. Harry’s eyes widened slightly, briefly stunned by the direct statement, but then his brain caught up.

“But…?”

“I haven’t started taking the contraception potion yet,” she said, blushing slightly. “I didn’t think I would need it yet.”

“That’s ok, Hermione. If you’re worried I’m disappointed or something, don’t be. This has been amazing and you’re my girlfriend now! And also my best friend! I think we’ll probably have other opportunities.” He tried to ignore the hard ache in his cock while he said that.

“True,” she said, reaching down and trying to pull his boxers off. He lifted his ass briefly to let her do so. His erection popped out and he kicked his boxers away. Her hand went to it and she started stroking again. If they weren’t going to have sex, he thought she might be getting ready to go down on him—which he certainly wouldn’t say no to—but Hermione had another surprise for him. “However, there are other things we can do, and I really want you inside me.”

“Okay…” he said, not really sure where she was going, and also distracted by the warm hand slipping back and forth over his hard dick. She reached down with her other hand to cup and gently caress his balls.

“I want you to fuck my ass, Harry,” she said, looking directly into his eyes with no hint of sarcasm or humor in her voice.

“What?!” His cock betrayed him though and jumped in her hand.

“You heard me,” she replied. “Surely you know that’s a thing…?”

“Yes, of course—vaguely, but yes. I just never thought—”

“You never thought that your bookworm best friend might be interested in something like that? Well, news flash, I have desires just like everyone else. And I masturbate just like everyone else. And putting two fingers in my ass feels really good.”

Harry was essentially speechless. Here was his best friend basically ordering him to fuck her in the ass because he couldn’t fuck her in the pussy, something that could have been rectified later that night with plenty of dick-in-pussy action the following day if they wanted. Harry knew anal sex was a thing, though if he were honest with himself, the mechanics of it all were a bit fuzzy to him. He didn’t want to her hurt or make it gross for either of them.

“How do we do this?” he asked.

She smirked at him. “Generally tab A goes into slot B…or in this case I guess slot A.” She was still methodically wanking him during all of this chatter, playing with his balls the whole time.

“I know that,” he responded, rolling his eyes at her. He could hardly believe they were having a semi-normal joking conversation about this. “But I don’t want to hurt you or do anything wrong.”

“You won’t,” she said. “Like I said, I’ve come to realize I really like having two fingers in my ass when I masturbate. So I’ve picked up a few spells to make it easier.” She was smiling now, proud of herself.

“Goddamn, Hermione. You’re the sexiest person I know.”

“You’re just saying that because I told you I want your cock in my ass,” she teased. She let go of him and reached for her wand, which was on the floor by the daybed. “The first spell is to slightly loosen and also clean things so nothing is icky,” she said. She then proceeded to get on her knees on the daybed, leaning down so her chest and a cheek rested on the soft pad. This caused her ass to spread apart, giving Harry a clear and unobstructed view of what he considered nirvana: her open pussy lips and her little rounded, pink, and inviting rosebud. She pointed her wand backward in the general directly of her ass and muttered a spell. Harry watched as her asshole visibly unclenched a bit. Hermione shuddered briefly.

“That’s always a bit intense,” she said. She then said another spell, and her asshole became shiny. “That’s a bit of lube to make sure we don’t hurt each other.” She pointed her wand at his crotch and said the same spell. Before he could say anything or react at all, he felt a cool sensation on his dick and looked down to see it was slick and shiny with some kind of lubrication. Hermione threw her wand away and then reached back with both hands, grabbing her ass cheeks and pulling them farther apart. This pulled her already loosened asshole slightly wider, and it also unstuck her inner labia, giving him a clear view in to her pussy.

“Holy fuck,” Harry breathed, staring in awe at his new girlfriend and her current pose. She giggled, before inviting him closer with a crooked finger.

“I’m ready, Harry,” she said. “Just be gentle. But the spells should make this relatively easy for both of us.”

He shuffled around and got into position on his knees behind her. His vision was entirely filled with—and focused on—her hands spreading her ass and the inviting rosebud before him. It looked amazing, so he grabbed his cock with one hand and brought the tip to her asshole, resting it there for a second. There was a very light pressure between their bodies at that point, pressing the mushroom head of his dick inward just slightly, but also pressing her asshole and the skin around it inward too. Hermione sighed, seeming to relax, and pushed back a little. Her asshole and the head of his cock resisted for a moment, but then her ring relaxed enough and he watched as the head suddenly disappeared into the tight opening of her ass. Hermione paused, attempting to unclench more, and Harry reveled in the feeling of the tip of his cock inside the constricting ring of her sphincter. It was tight and hot, even tighter and hotter than what he’d felt when his fingers were inside her pussy.

“It’s ok, keep going,” Hermione breathed. Harry pushed gently forward and watched—and felt—as his cock slowly disappeared inside Hermione’s ass. The inward pressure made her asshole push in slightly as he slid in, giving him a tight squeeze all along his cock; beyond that, the inside of her ass was smooth, slippery, and very warm. It felt incredible.

After slipping in for a few seconds, Harry’s dick was all the way in Hermione’s ass and he rested against the back of her thighs. His balls were flush against her pussy. He rested his hands on her ass for leverage above where her hands were spreading her cheeks and began to pull back slightly. Hermione moaned at the change in direction and he watched as her asshole pulled out slightly as his cock slid out. Everything was in reverse, but it all felt amazing. His eyes could almost not believe the sight before him as he slid most of the way out of her ass.

“That feels amazing,” Hermione breathed. Harry pushed slowly in and pulled slowly out a few more times, getting used the tight glove of her ass and letting Hermione get used to his cock.

“It really does,” Harry agreed. Hermione pulled her hands away from her ass, so Harry moved his hands down to get a firm grip on her cheeks, pulling them apart again. This also increased his leverage, so he marginally picked up the pace of the ass-fucking.

“Yes, Harry,” Hermione said. “Faster.” He obliged and eventually worked up to really hammering her asshole, his balls slapping lewdly against her wet pussy on every downstroke.

“Yes! Fuck my ass! Harder!” Hermione cried out.

Harry accidentally pulled out too far just then, and his entire cock popped out of her ass. Hermione’s asshole gaped up at him for a moment, affording him a clear view into her lubricated rectum, before it clenched briefly closed and then reopened a bit. Harry quickly put his dick against her asshole and pressed inward; he met little resistance this time and soon enough had resumed the hard fucking.

Hermione’s intermittent moans had turned into alternating growls and curses as her pleasure started to peak. He’d never heard such vulgar language from her as he plundered her ass with his pistoning dick. He was also getting close, the tight wetness of her taboo hole too much for his brain.

“Hermione, I’m close,” he gasped, squeezing her ass cheeks hard and really ramming home.

“Oh, fuck,” Hermione cried, and suddenly her ass was mildly clenching around his cock. Some sudden wetness sprayed around his groin and balls, and he realized her orgasm was so powerful that she squirted all over him. That sent him over the edge and with several powerful clenches began to unload his cum deep into her ass. One spurt, two spurts—

* * *

—three spurts, and then Harry woke up, gasping, in the middle of a giant orgasm. His cock sprayed several more gouts of cum, all over him and his sheets, before he lay back. Breathing deeply, he tried to collect his addled mind. He realized he had just woken from potentially the most vivid wet dream he’d ever experienced.

And what a dream! He had certainly noticed Hermione was attractive and occasionally had sexy thoughts about her, but she was his best friend so there was a slight mental barrier there. Apparently his subconscious had taken it much farther. He could still distinctly remember the feeling of her tight ass around his cock, even a minute after waking up. He was sure that dream would stay with him for a long time. He cleaned himself and his sheets with two brief spells and then got ready to face the day. He needed to find Hermione.


End file.
